Loaded

Embryo transfer was a few days ago.  As I was lying on the table waiting for the procedure Dr. House told the nurse in the other room to load 'em up - meaning put the embryos in the needle.  Once the nurse was done she said "loaded" and passed the needle through the little window.  I am now officially "loaded."  That has such a different connotation than it did when I was in my twenties.

We transferred four (!!!!) embryos.  Four (!!!!) Grade 1 embryos.  Four (!!!!) embryos, two of which were 8-cell and two which were 6-cell.  We have 9 frozen embryos on ice should we need them.  17 were retrieved.  Apparently this is a really good response.  Especially for someone my age.  Dr. House said he had to double-check my chronological age because the number of embryos and their quality didn't look like they came from someone my age.  So if my eggs were so damn good why the hell weren't we able to get pregnant on our own???

My ovaries are apparently not very happy with what I put them through these last couple of weeks.  They are very enlarged and agitated.  I've still got some bloating and soreness which I'm told isn't going to go away anytime soon.  Naively, I thought as soon as the retrieval was done I'd start to feel like my old self again.  I guess if I find the BFP this cycle it's going to be a looooong time before I feel like my old self.

So now I wait.  We transferred four (!!!!) based on my age and the odds of success.  But I want just one baby.  I don't even know if my body could handle more than one.  So I wait.  Amazingly I'm not feeling anxious at all.  Whatever is going to be will be.  I've done everything I can.  Now it's just up to those embies if they want to stick around or not.