Home Stretch

37 weeks and 3 days...we're in the home stretch and I'm so ready to meet this little gal.

It's been a tough pregnancy.  I know when she's here and I'm waking every 2 hrs for feedings I'm going to be craving the sleep I am able to get now - even though my sleep now sucks, it is better than waking every 2hrs.

Life with two kids is going to be difficult.  Everyone says so.  But having another little one to love as much as I love Cub Scout - that's gotta be pretty amazing!

Cub Scout is so awesome.  He says "baby in there" and pulls up my shirt to touch and kiss my belly.  When he rests his head on my belly and wraps his arms around my waist I melt.  Then when he's had enough he pulls my shirt down and says "put baby away" or "baby go home."  So stinking adorable.

I am sad that pretty soon Cub Scout won't be the centre of our world.  I know having a sibling will be great for him but I will miss the one on one time I have with him.

It's been a long haul this pregnancy.  But despite all the ups and downs I am a little sad that this will be my last pregnancy.  We have no more frozen embryos.  And I will not go through another fresh IVF.  And the chances of us getting pregnant on our own are pretty slim.  I will never see a little baby on an ultrasound again.  I will never have a big round belly to rub.  I will never feel baby kicks again.  I will never experience the miracle of growing a little one inside me.  But man, did I ever win the lottery to be able to experience this twice.  I know this.  And I am grateful.

33 Weeks - Everything I Want to Remember

How far along:  33 weeks  
Total weight gain/loss: Current weight = 121 lbs

Maternity clothes: Of course. And still wearing some loose, flowly non-maternity clothes

Stretch marks: None

Sleep: Meh.  Baby is breech and as such I can't find a completely comfortable position to sleep in.

Movement:  Decreased a little. I suspect there's less room in there for her to move around. 

Cravings: Sweet stuff

Aversions: None but finding it hard to eat large amounts.  Baby is often under my ribs and it's uncomfortable.

Gender: A little feminist

Symptoms: Pelvic pressure, Braxton Hicks contractions, cramping from time to time

What I miss: I want to say sleep but I know that once baby girl arrives I will be begging for the kind of sleep I'm getting now

What I look forward to: Seeing her for the first time and seeing how Cub Scout reacts to her

Moods: Grateful that I get to experience this twice. Trying to be appreciate every feeling knowing it will very likely be the last time I am ever pregnant

Milestones: 8 months

Medical Concerns: Pelvic Organ Prolapse.  Breech baby.  

Weekly Wisdom: Continue to appreciate being pregnant - enjoy this time - it goes by too fast!

Worst moment this week: Getting a cold
Best moment this week: When Cub Scout said "Mommy, can you hold my hand please?"

Growing Up

Cub Scout's daycare has webcams.  Which means I can look at him anytime throughout the day....which I do...perhaps too much :)  Ok, definitely too much.  But how can I not?  My little man is away from me all day long and I miss him so much and here's this camera into his world...

I watch him at daycare and realize he's growing up.  My heart both melts and breaks at the same time.  It's bittersweet.  It's wonderful to see your child grow and learn new things and become more independent but at the same time it reminds you how fast the time is going, how one day he won't need mommy to wipe his nose or hold his hand.  I want to hold on to each stage/age and not let go.  I will miss the days when Cub Scout says "mommy, hug" and wraps his arms around my neck and presses his cheek against mine.  I will miss when he says "mommy, hand" and reaches his little hand out to hold mine.  I will miss all those moments when I get to give hugs and kisses and he doesn't push me away.  I will miss cuddling him in my lap.  I want to hold on to these moments forever yet I feel them slipping away.

Even though we'll be welcoming baby #2 into our family in October and I'll get to experience it all again I will still miss those moments with my first born as he continues to grow up.

There really is nothing in the world that compares to the experience of having a child.  I am truly blessed.  I had no idea this little man would steal my heart the way he has.

Week 30 - Everything I Want to Remember

How far along:  30 weeks 
Total weight gain/loss: Current weight = 118 lbs

Maternity clothes: Of course. And still wearing some loose, flowly non-maternity clothes

Stretch marks: None

Sleep: Meh.  Still waking up at night to pee and now getting killer leg cramps again - almost nightly

Movement:  Decreased a little. I suspect there's less room in there for her to move around. 

Cravings: Sweet stuff

Aversions: Curries/Indian food - but not as bad as previous.  Mr. Scout and I ordered in Indian food one night last week and I was able to eat it.  I didn't enjoy it as much as I usually would though.

Gender: A little feminist

Symptoms: Pelvic pressure, increasing back pain - especially after sitting at my desk all day

What I miss: I want to say sleep but I know that once baby girl arrives I will be begging for the kind of sleep I'm getting now

What I look forward to: Seeing her for the first time and seeing how Cub Scout reacts to her

Moods: Grateful that I get to experience this twice. Trying to be appreciate every feeling knowing it will very likely be the last time I am ever pregnant

Milestones: I'm in my 7th month and final trimester

Medical Concerns: None.  At last ultrasound to measure growth I was informed that this baby is measuring large - 86th percentile and was already 3 lbs!  Never thought I'd be able to make a large baby!  My weight gain is the same this pregnancy as last one so we'll have to wait and see if she comes out bigger than her brother.

Weekly Wisdom: Continue to appreciate being pregnant - enjoy this time - it goes by too fast!

Worst moment this week: One day of really bad back pain that forced me to leave work a bit early and generally feeling very pregnant and less mobile
Best moment this week: Every time Cub Scout says "kiss the belly" then kisses my belly - my heart swells :)

Week 25 - Everything I Want to Remember

How far along: 25 weeks

Total weight gain/loss:  Current weight = 114.5 lbs (last pregnancy I was 115 lbs at 25 weeks)

Maternity clothes:  Of course.  And still wearing some loose, flowly non-maternity clothes

Stretch marks: None

Sleep: Meh.  Up at least once a night to pee

Movement:  Tons.  This little gal is a mover and shaker.  Much more movement going on compared to her brother...though he's made up for it since coming out of the womb!

Cravings:  Sweet stuff

Aversions:  Curries/Indian food - typically my favourite food but I haven't been able to touch it this pregnancy

Gender: A little feminist

Symptoms:  Pelvic pressure, some back pain

What I miss:  I want to say sleep but I know that once baby girl arrives I will be begging for the kind of sleep I'm getting now

What I look forward to:  Seeing her for the first time

Moods:  Grateful that I get to experience this twice.  Trying to be appreciate every feeling knowing it will very likely be the last time I am ever pregnant

Milestones: I'm in my 6th month!

Medical Concerns: None

Weekly Wisdom: Continue to appreciate being pregnant - enjoy this time - it goes by too fast!

Worst moment this week: The awful heat wave we are experiencing makes me just generally uncomfortable
Best moment this week:  Every time Cub Scout says "kiss the belly" then kisses my belly - my heart swells :)

Baby Girl

This is a long overdue post to document the fact that we will be welcoming a baby girl to our family!

A girl.  A daughter.  A little feminist. 

Having a daughter terrifies me when I think of mean girl culture, sexting, the prevalence of porn and how it distorts men and women's ideas of how a woman should look and act.  While girls and women today have choices that my mother never had, the playing field is still far from equal.  I hope to raise a little feminist.  A rebel.  A revolutionary.  A shit disturber.  A "I will move mountains because I can do anything I put my mind to" girl.

I also hope to raise my son to respect women.  To cherish them.  To treat them as his equal.  To believe there are no differences between boys and girls when it comes to abilities.  To teach others the same.

I never imagined that I could fall head over heels in love with a little boy.  Then I had Cub Scout and realized I wouldn't trade him for all the girls in the world.  Now I will have a little girl.  I will love her fiercely too, this I know.  My little Girl Scout.

I am blessed.  Truly.

Weeks and weeks before I found out that this baby was a girl, I was home alone and felt the baby move.  I put my hand on my belly and said "Hi baby girl."  I knew.  It wasn't wishful thinking.  If anything I might have been leaning towards wanting another boy because I love Cub Scout so much and would have loved for him to have a brother.  But I just knew this little one was a girl.

Week 20 - Everything I Want to Remember

How far along:  20 weeks 4 days

Total weight gain/loss: Current weight = 109 lbs

Maternity clothes:  Combination of maternity and non-maternity

Stretch marks: None

Sleep: Interrupted and never enough of it

Movement:  Feeling small movements every day

Cravings:  Chocolate

Aversions:  Indian food, anything with curry, which is normally my favourite!

Gender:  Girl (aka my budding little feminist)

Symptoms: Tired, back pain

What I miss:  My fabulous non-maternity clothes that I can't fit into

What I look forward to:  Holding my DAUGHTER! 

Moods:  Relaxed

Milestones: Every new week is a milestone

Medical Concerns:  Low-lying placenta (being sent to fetal medicine clinic for monitoring)

Weekly Wisdom: Try to enjoy every moment of pregnancy

Worst moment this week: None. The glass is half full!

Best moment this week:  My midwife confiring that I'm having a girl