Week 14 - Everything You Wanted to Know

I just saw this survey on another blogger's page and I thought it was a great idea!  So here's my survey:

How far along:  14 weeks and 3 days

Total weight gain/loss:  Up 4 lbs. (Current weight = 102lbs)

Maternity clothes:  Not wearing any yet, except my Bella Band when I wear my skinny jeans.  I did buy one maternity spring/summer dress this week and a couple of tops.

Stretch marks:  None (Thank God)

Sleep:  Lots but it never feels like enough!

Movement:  None that I'm aware of

Cravings:  Nothing specific this week, though I did have a craving for a piece of cake one night

Aversions:  None

Gender:  Unknown at this time but I think girl :)

Symptoms:  Tired, exhausted, drained, sleepy

What I miss:  My energy!

What I look forward to:  Next midwife appointment Feb 15. 

Moods:  Frustrated - so much to do and so little enery to get it done

Milestones:  Every new week is a milestone

Medical Concerns:  Waiting for results of genetic screening blood tests

Weekly Wisdom:  Try not stress out about how much weight you are supposed to gain!

Worst moment this week: Realizing I can't hide my bump easily any more and I should come out of the pregnancy closet at work soon

Best moment this week:  Mr. Scout telling me my bump "looks cute"

A Giant Step Forward

Gestation:  14 weeks
Weight:  101.6 lbs
Symptoms:  extreme fatigue, stuffy nose, hip pain

Mr. Scout is the worrier in our household.  Especially with this pregnancy.  He has been worrying about it from the beginning.  I worry too, but not all the time.  I have moments when I feel confident and comfortable and there is no doubt in my mind.  Mr. Scout has fewer of those moments.  I have had to tell him on a couple of occassions that his worrying is not helping me.  That he is creating bad karma in our house.  That I need him to think positive thoughts and send positive thoughts toward our little Cub Scout.  That I need him to try to think that everything will be ok, rather than think something will go wrong. 

He's getting better at it as time goes on.  And yesterday he made a giant step forward.  He came out to his colleagues at work and told them we are expecting.  This is huge for him.  The first hurdle was telling family, which he did probably before he was ready.  Then he told friends shortly after.  But I never thought he would tell colleagues this early.  I'm so glad he has reached this level of comfort.  It's a joy to see the excitement start to creep in and his fear start to fade.  It helps to make this pregnancy more enjoyable for me.

I think seeing Cub Scout on the ultrasound screen last week was probably the first time that this pregnancy felt really real to Mr. Scout.  While I haven't enjoyed the physical changes of being pregnant, I forget that for Mr. Scout it's a completely different experience.  While I can't feel Cub Scout moving around, I know that s/he is in there and the changes to my body certainly remind me every day that I'm pregnant!  It's much less tangible for Mr. Scout and I've only just realized how truly fortunate I am to be able to have the experience of being pregnant. 

Well hello baby!

Gestation:  13 weeks 3 days
Weight:  99.5 lbs
Symptoms:  extreme fatigue, bloating, stuffy nose, hip pain, near fainting spell

At my 7 week ultrasound I saw the beginings of Cub Scout though s/he didn't look like much of anything.  The most exciting thing at that ultrasound was the blinking dot which was the heartbeat.

This week, at exactly 13 weeks I had my first 'real' ultrasound and whaddya know...there was a baby there on the screen!  Our little Cub Scout, reclining so peacefully giving us the perfect profile shot.  Cute little nose, arms and legs.  I've seen other people's ultrasound photos so I knew what to expect to see on the screen, but words can't describe seeing an actual little baby in your own uterus!  There's a BABY inside me.  A real baby!   A seemingly fine little baby with a strong heart beating away.  Seeing Cub Scout and hearing her/his heartbeat - talk about making it real!  Every so often (like now) I'll look down at my stomach and it shocks me to realize there's a baby in there.  It's weird and wonderful all at the same time.

Today I experienced a new pregnancy symptom.  Fainting.  While I didn't faint, I sure felt like I was about to.  I got on the streetcar to come to work and it was crowded so I didn't get a seat.  I stood for 3/4 of the ride and then started feeling overheated, then lightheaded, then I knew I had to get off the streetcar immediately.  At the next stop I pushed my way through people without even being polite about it, ripped my jacket open, tore off my scarf and gloves and went and sat in the bus shelter with my head between my knees until the feeling passed.  Not fun. 

In other randomness...
They are doing renovations in my workplace.  The washrooms on the floor where I work are no longer in use.  I have to walk either upstairs or downstairs to use a washroom.  I'm pregnant.  I have to pee all the time.  Not having a washroom down the hall got real annoying real quick.

Lazy Blogger

Been a while since I've written here.  Not for lack of things to say, but mostly due to extreme exhaustion.  But I do want to make an effort to document this pregnancy as much as possible.

Gestation:  13 weeks 2 days
Weight:  99.5 lbs
Symptoms:  extreme fatigue, bloating, stuffy nose, hip pain

On Announcing Our Pregnancy
Our families were overjoyed.  And shocked.  We never talked about our desire to have children or our journey to conceive.  Many assumed we didn't want children.  After giving them a few days to enjoy our news and for it to sink in, we shared the deatils of our journey with them.  I didn't want to make them feel bad for us, but I did want them to understand how grateful we are for this pregnancy and also to understand why we may not be as excited as they expect us to be. 

Most of our friends now know as well.  There is a handful of people I haven't told yet simply because I haven't talked to them or seen them in months.  I don't feel an urgency to tell them.  Eventually I'll get around to it.  Friends are all very happy for us.

Work colleagues do not yet know, other than my boss.  Though my clothes are starting to fit a lot more snug and I definitely look like I've gained weight, even if I don't have a full blown bump yet.

On Feeling Happy and Scared
Most days we are happy and thrilled beyond belief.  But just because you get pregnant doesn't mean your infertility fears disappear.  We worry about this pregnancy progressing as it should because we know all too well that things can change in an instant.  While others are talking about "when" the baby arrives, I sometimes feel scared to think that way.  I can't bring myself to think of baby names or make baby item purchases yet.  It's too soon.  

On Symptoms
Of course the first question everyone asks is "do you have morning sickness?"  I am happy to say that I have not had one moment of nausea.  Not a single one - knock on wood!  I know not everyone experiences it, but when you have lived with infertility part of you wants to experience every single pregnancy symptom because it helps to reassure you that you are in fact pregnant.

The fatigue is still present.  I feel like I have run a marathon and climbed a mountain every single day.  It doesn't matter how much sleep I get, I still feel exhausted.  Speaking of sleep, I've always been a light sleeper, and now I'm up at least 3 times a night to pee.  Really?  Is that necessary already?  I can understand if you've got a big baby resting on your bladder, but this early in the pregnancy it just doesn't seem fair. 

I've had a stuffy nose since day one of this pregnancy, technical term I've learned is Rhinitis.  I'm keeping Kleenex makers in business.

For the last week I've had a dull ache in my right hip.  Likely due to ligaments starting to stretch and my pelvis starting to change to make room for the baby.

Cravings - I've had a few.  In the beginning I wanted potatoes - all kinds.  Potato wedges, french fries, mashed potatoes, potato chips.  That craving is still present, but not as much as it was.  Then it was fruit - but not stuff like apples or bananas.  I wanted tropical fruit - pineapple, mango, berries!  And lately I've been craving food that I would never normally eat - nachos with cheese and salsa, chocolate, ice cream, kraft dinner(!) of all things!  When I go grocery shopping I see things in the aisles and immediately think "mmmm, wouldn't that be good!"  Very strange feeling for me to have cravings.  I've never had a love relationship with food.  As a child I was a very picky eater.  I gave up meat when I was 15 years old because I hated it.

Lots more updates to write about and I'm going to make an effort to document as much as I can from now on.  I know I'm pregnant, I think about it every waking moment.  And I'm so very, very grateful that I'm pregnant.  But some days I feel like I'm not doing enought to cherish this time.  To really relish in it and be present in it and remember it.  This may very well be my only pregnancy, I need to be more present.  If only I could stay awake long enough .....