- I sometimes resent women who get pregnant without any difficulty. I can't help but wonder if they know how truly miraculous a pregnancy is. And can they have the same appreciation for pregnancy and children that I would have after what I've been through?*
- I'm not fully out of the IF closet. Only a few friends know about my journey and mostly they are amazing women who have battled IF themselves. I know my family would want to know, but I can't bring myself to inflict our pain on them.
- There are days when I don't know if I really want the end result...it feels like too much work to keep going.
- I don't regret not TTC sooner. There's no way to know if the result would have been any different. And I loved my life pre-TTC. Me and Mr. Scout had some amazing fun and adventure.
- I feel guilty that my IF journey has been "easy" compared to that of other women. What right do I have to complain and feel upset or angry when what I've endured is nothing compared to what they've endured?
- I shop...A LOT. It makes me feel better. And I justify it by telling myself that once I have children I won't be able to spoil myself this much so I had better take advantage of it now. And it makes me feel better. If I can't have a baby then damnit I'm going to have those fabulous shoes...and that stunning dress...and that 63rd bottle of nail polish that I don't really need. And did I tell you it makes me feel better?
- I spend way too much time at work reading other people's IF blogs.
*By no means do I think this will make me a better parent. Parenting is the hardest job in the world I'm sure. But like anything in life, if you have to work hard to achieve it don't you appreciate it a little more than if it was just handed to you without much effort?
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