Randomness

First, kudos to all those mommy bloggers who find time to write!  I find it near impossible to find time to blog.  How do you mommy's do it????

There is so much to write that I don't even know where to start.

As much as I thought I loved Cub Scout when I wrote my last post...that was nothing.  I feel like my heart swells and grows with love for him more every day.  I love everything about him.  I love the sounds he makes when he's nursing.  Sometimes I will just close my eyes and listen and try to burn those sounds into my brain so that I never forget them.  I love his cry.  He doesn't cry much, but when he does, oh is it ever cute :)  I love watching him grow and change.  It's so fun to see him on the verge of a milestone and then achieve it.  I could see him being close to being able to laugh for a couple of weeks and then he finally did. I could see him being close to being able to roll and then he did.  Right now I can see him being close to being able to sit up on his own and soon he will.  Every milestone he reaches is something to celebrate and the littlest things make you so proud.

He is now 5 months old and I don't know where the time as gone.  Soon he'll be 6 months and then my one year maternity leave will be half over.  I don't know how I'm ever going to go back to work.  I cannot conceive of it.  How can I leave my little boy in someone else's care all day long?  That, to me, is just wrong.  He should be with his mommy.  I should be the one feeding him and reading to him and singing to him and putting him to sleep at nap time - not someone else.

I can't believe there was a time when I wasn't sure I wanted children.  I wish we had started our family sooner.  While I loved my life before Cub Scout and all the things we were able to do, I wish my little boy came into my life sooner.

Being a parent is...well there are no words right now.  It's everything good in the world all rolled up into one.  Nothing has brought me greater joy.

I hope we have more children.  I want to feel this love over and over again.  Though I imagine my little Cub Scout will always hold a special place in my heart because he is my first :)

I wish there was some cohesion to this post, but its been so long since I've blogged that I can't focus.