37 weeks today means I am officially full-term and Cub Scout could make his appearance at any time. Though I'm hoping he hangs on for a few more weeks.
Despite being a small-framed gal and having gained only 25 lbs this pregnancy, Cub Scout is apparently not a small baby. I have mixed emotions knowing that. Of course I am relieved and grateful that he isn't small and that I don't have to worry about not gaining enough weight - despite trying very hard (yes, I am one of those skinny bitches who doesn't look pregnant anywhere except my belly). But, hearing that your baby is not small is not comforting in the final weeks before birth when you know you're going to be pushing him out of you!
It's so hard to believe I'm at the end of this journey. And it's still sometimes hard to believe I'm even here. Why did I get so lucky? I've tried very hard to be present during this pregnancy. It may be the only pregnancy I ever experience. Or maybe it won't. But I do know how fortunate I am to have this experience.
What have a I loved about being pregnant? Feeling Cub Scout's movements is pretty amazing. Sharing the experience with my mom and seeing her pleasure in it all - I think she was born to be a Grandmother! Knowing we are adding to our family because family means everything to me. I read a great quote the other day - "many things will change us but we begin and end with family." So true. Simply marvelling in the miracle of pregnancy - how amazing it is that I can actually grow a human being! Decorating the nursery has been a joy. Anticipating the love that I am going to feel for my son. Seeing his face on the 3D ultrasounds. Sharing my pregnancy journey with a close friend who was pregnant at the same time. Buying cute baby clothes. Those are some of the things I have loved.
What have I disliked about being pregnant? In the beginning the changes to my body were hard to accept. The back pain has been horrendous. I could do without the leg cramps. The fatigue has been challenging at times. Feeling nervous that everything is going to turn out ok. Worrying about being a good parent. Worrying about not knowing a thing about babies or how to care for them. Being fearful of the changes that are going to happen to our lives - namely giving up my freedom and being tied to a little person for a verrrry long time. Those are some of the things I have not enjoyed.
But despite the likes and dislikes, the overwhelming feeling at the end of the day is one of pure gratitude that I have been able to go on this journey. I know there are many, many women, some I know personally, some I know only through their blogs, who may never have this opportunity, and for some reason, I am one of the lucky ones. All I can be is grateful.
Oh Cub Scout, you don't know the love that awaits you!
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