May 9, 2011

A Year in the Life

I'm sure all pregnant women who have struggled with IF come to a point when they reflect back on where they were in the months preceeding pregnancy.  Today that happened for me.  Nothing in particular sparked my thoughts.  I was simply on my way to work and got off at my usual bus stop.  But in that moment I remembered that this time one year ago I would have not have gotten off at that stop, but kept going for a few more stops to go to the fertility clinic for cycle monitoring before heading into work.

Last year at this time I was having blood work and ultrasounds performed constantly.  I was taking my basal body temperature every morning and charting it on a graph.  I was working so dilligently to pinpoint ovulation so that we could try to conceive.  My life was consumed with trying to get pregnant.

And now here I am, almost 29 weeks along, very visibly pregnant.  This time last year I was filled with both hope and despair and I had no idea that IVF lay in my future.  The struggle of those days is never far from my thoughts.  What a difference a year can make.

Everyone tells me how much life is going to change with the arrival of Cub Scout and how hard it is going to be.  I say, bring it on!  I'm sure life will change, I'm sure being a parent will be the hardest thing I ever do, but I'm not scared of it - at least not today :P  I consider it a miracle that I am pregnant.  A miracle of science.  I worked my ass off to get here and did things I never thought I would do.  All I can do now is look forward to whatever challenges lie ahead when we become a family of three.

And a year from now....the future only knows!

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