Gestation: 24 weeks
Weight: 114 lbs
Today for the first time in weeks it struck me as amazing that I'm actually pregnant. I caught a glance at myself in the mirror and for some reason today it reminded me that I always had a feeling I would never be pregnant. I recall having that feeling since I was a teenager.
I've said before that I never longed to be a mom. I did not grow up dreaming about having kids. Obviously after being with Mr. Scout for several years things changed and I started to think about being a mom. But all my life I always had a little feeling in the back of my head/heart that I would never be pregnant. Whether by choice or because of infertility I didn't know. It was just something I felt.
It's very strange to see my body as a pregnant body. It doesn't look like my body or feel like my body. It's a very weird experience for me to be pregnant. Me? Pregnant? Who would have thought it would happen? Certainly not me.
I look forward to everything. I look forward to experiencing labour and childbirth. I look forward to feeling the indescribable love that people feel for their children. I look forward to being infatuated with Cub Scout. I look forward to hearing a little boy voice call me "Mommy." I look forward to seeing Mr. Scout hold Cub Scout in his arms - just the image of it in my head makes me teary-eyed. I look forward to seeing the love that Cub Scout's grandparents are going to lavish on him - he won't know what to do with all that love :)
It's amazing to me that this is my life right now. How did I get to be so fortunate?
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