The Home Stretch

Gestation:  35 weeks 3 days
Weight:  122 lbs

This really is the final leg of this journey.  Some days I still can't believe I'm here despite the huge belly that keeps bumping into things.  I can't believe how close we are to meeting Cub Scout and having our lives changed forever.

I have officially stopped working now which has been wonderful.  It's so nice to have this down time to relax and prepare for Cub Scout's arrival.  I still have a lot to do to get ready for Cub Scout, but I can do it at a nice slow pace. 

Some days I feel ready to welcome Cub Scout to our family and start this new chapter, other days I mourn the impending loss of our freedom and coupledom.  It's been just Mr. Scout and I for so long - we're used to our routines as a couple and our freedom to do things spontaneously and come and go as we please.  I fear that the adjustment to life with a baby is going to be hard on us because we've had so many years just to ourselves.  But then in other ways I think maybe the adjustment will be easier on us for just that reason.  We've had LOTS of couple time.  Lots of time to build and grow our marriage.  Time to purchase homes and tackle renovations.  Time to travel.  Time to be selfish and take part in lots of hobbies.  Time to spend with friends at a moment's notice.  Time for leisurely dinners at restaurants.  Time for lazy mornings in bed reading the newspaper with a cup of coffee. Time to host parties and gatherings.  We certainly haven't missed out on time together as a couple or life experiences.

I feel ready for labour and birth.  I am not fearful of it.  I know it will be hell.  I know I can't even anticipate how difficult it really will be.  But I know it will be temporary pain and I know it will have an amazing outcome.  I am more fearful of what happens after Cub Scout arrives.  I don't know anything about caring for a baby.  It's the one thing in my entire life I've ever felt most unprepared for.  That scares me.  But I try not to fret about it too much.  We have support of our families and friends.  We will figure it out like all new parents do. 

Right now, I am sitting in bed, a hypnobirthing CD playing in the background and one of my cats curled up beside me snoring away.  Just me alone, calm and relaxed and being grateful for this time in these last few weeks.

Cub Scout is doing well.  At my ultrasound this week he was measuring about 6 lbs!  I'm on the small side so it's hard to believe there's a 6 lb baby in there!  As if this pregnancy wasn't real enough already, the realization that there is a 6 LB BABY IN THERE made it even more real.

I'm feeling great though.  Very relaxed.  A little more fatigued these days and taking advantage of the ability to have some afternoon naps.  My back pain is ever-present but nothing more I can do about it.  I look forward to getting out of some of my maternity clothes and hopefully being able to fit into some of my pre-pregnancy summer dresses after Cub Scout is born and before this summer is over.  I look forward to wearing my summer wedges and heels....so much.  I can rock a pair of flats but there's nothing like a gorgeous pair of wedge sandals in summertime :)

The thing I look forward to most of all?  Feeling the love I will feel for Cub Scout as a parent - that feeling that everyone tries to describe but says is not possible to describe - you just have to experience it.  That feeling - I can't wait for!

Week 32 - Everything I Want to Remember

How far along:  32 weeks 1 days 

Total weight gain/loss:  Up 22 lbs. (Current weight = 120 lbs)

Maternity clothes:  Pleased to say I can still purchase some non-maternity tops and fit into them.  I have to go one size up and they are mostly loose, flowy tops, but the fact that they are non-maternity gives me hope that I might  be able to get some wear out of them after the baby is born

Stretch marks:  None (Thank God)

Sleep:  Sucks and is getting worse - between back pain, leg cramps ($%@#!!), sore hips and baby movement a good night's sleep never happens

Movement:  Is now keeping me awake at night!

Cravings:  Ice cream

Aversions:  None

Gender:  A little man

Symptoms:  Back pain and more back pain, middle of the night leg cramps

What I miss:  My mobility

What I look forward to:  Just meeting Cub Scout

Moods:  Some stress...caused by my back pain and feeling ready to quit work

Milestones:  I'm in the home stretch

Medical Concerns:  None

Weekly Wisdom:  The baby is coming whether you're ready or not!

Worst moment this week:  Not being offered a seat on the streetcar and having to stand almost the entire ride!
Best moment this week:  My ultrasound and learning that Cub Scout's growth and position are as they should be

Holy F&ck!

I just looked at my countdown...55 days to go!  How is that possible??!!  I cannot have this baby in 55 days (give or take).  I'M NOT READY!

This may be my first official pregnancy meltdown....