Week 25 - Everything I Want to Remember

How far along: 25 weeks

Total weight gain/loss:  Current weight = 114.5 lbs (last pregnancy I was 115 lbs at 25 weeks)

Maternity clothes:  Of course.  And still wearing some loose, flowly non-maternity clothes

Stretch marks: None

Sleep: Meh.  Up at least once a night to pee

Movement:  Tons.  This little gal is a mover and shaker.  Much more movement going on compared to her brother...though he's made up for it since coming out of the womb!

Cravings:  Sweet stuff

Aversions:  Curries/Indian food - typically my favourite food but I haven't been able to touch it this pregnancy

Gender: A little feminist

Symptoms:  Pelvic pressure, some back pain

What I miss:  I want to say sleep but I know that once baby girl arrives I will be begging for the kind of sleep I'm getting now

What I look forward to:  Seeing her for the first time

Moods:  Grateful that I get to experience this twice.  Trying to be appreciate every feeling knowing it will very likely be the last time I am ever pregnant

Milestones: I'm in my 6th month!

Medical Concerns: None

Weekly Wisdom: Continue to appreciate being pregnant - enjoy this time - it goes by too fast!

Worst moment this week: The awful heat wave we are experiencing makes me just generally uncomfortable
Best moment this week:  Every time Cub Scout says "kiss the belly" then kisses my belly - my heart swells :)

Baby Girl

This is a long overdue post to document the fact that we will be welcoming a baby girl to our family!

A girl.  A daughter.  A little feminist. 

Having a daughter terrifies me when I think of mean girl culture, sexting, the prevalence of porn and how it distorts men and women's ideas of how a woman should look and act.  While girls and women today have choices that my mother never had, the playing field is still far from equal.  I hope to raise a little feminist.  A rebel.  A revolutionary.  A shit disturber.  A "I will move mountains because I can do anything I put my mind to" girl.

I also hope to raise my son to respect women.  To cherish them.  To treat them as his equal.  To believe there are no differences between boys and girls when it comes to abilities.  To teach others the same.

I never imagined that I could fall head over heels in love with a little boy.  Then I had Cub Scout and realized I wouldn't trade him for all the girls in the world.  Now I will have a little girl.  I will love her fiercely too, this I know.  My little Girl Scout.

I am blessed.  Truly.

Weeks and weeks before I found out that this baby was a girl, I was home alone and felt the baby move.  I put my hand on my belly and said "Hi baby girl."  I knew.  It wasn't wishful thinking.  If anything I might have been leaning towards wanting another boy because I love Cub Scout so much and would have loved for him to have a brother.  But I just knew this little one was a girl.

Week 20 - Everything I Want to Remember

How far along:  20 weeks 4 days

Total weight gain/loss: Current weight = 109 lbs

Maternity clothes:  Combination of maternity and non-maternity

Stretch marks: None

Sleep: Interrupted and never enough of it

Movement:  Feeling small movements every day

Cravings:  Chocolate

Aversions:  Indian food, anything with curry, which is normally my favourite!

Gender:  Girl (aka my budding little feminist)

Symptoms: Tired, back pain

What I miss:  My fabulous non-maternity clothes that I can't fit into

What I look forward to:  Holding my DAUGHTER! 

Moods:  Relaxed

Milestones: Every new week is a milestone

Medical Concerns:  Low-lying placenta (being sent to fetal medicine clinic for monitoring)

Weekly Wisdom: Try to enjoy every moment of pregnancy

Worst moment this week: None. The glass is half full!

Best moment this week:  My midwife confiring that I'm having a girl

Hi Mommy

My favourite two words these days are "Hi Mommy."  If Cub Scout sees me walking towards the car or if I walk into a room where he is he'll say "Hi Mommy" in the cutest voice imagineable.

At 22 months, he's such a little talker.  This morning I sneezed and he said "bless you, Mommy."  When I replied "thank you" he said "no problem."  Every day when Mr. Scout and Cub Scout pick me up from work, Cub Scout starts waving from the back window and saying "Hi Mommy, Hi Mommy, Hi Mommy" repeatedly as soon as he sees me walk out of the building.  It melts my heart every time.

He loves to say "hi" and "bye" and wave.  He'll be watching a cartoon and when it's over he'll say "bye Toopy Binoo" or "bye Max & Ruby."

I have finally gotten out of the crippling fatigue that plagued me from the beginning of this pregnancy. It is so nice to have some energy back. I spent the entire weekend playing with Cub Scout, going for walks with him, playing in the park. He enjoyed the slides at the park this weekend so much. He would climb to the top, say "ready, set, go" and then slide down laughing all the way. When he got to the bottom he'd say "Fun!" and climb back up again.

The ipad is his new favourite toy.  He'll sit and watch the educational videos as long as we'll let him and he knows how to scroll through the videos using his fingers and say "this one" when he finds one he wants to watch and then tap the screen to make it play.

And his fascination with trains continue.  He says "chugga, chugga, choo choo" every time he hears or sees one.  He says "all aboard" and I say "here's your ticket" and he'll pretend to take it out of my hand and put it in his pocket.  He also loves to pretend sleep these days and will making snoring noises. Or if he sees mommy or daddy or one of the cats with our eyes closed he'll hold his finger to his mouth and say "shhh, mommy sleeping."

Today when he saw Grandma he said "come Grandma dance", took her hand and walked over to the carpet to dance with his Grandma.  Grandma's heart melts every time :)

There are so many more things he says and does that I want to remember and will write them here as I recall them just so I don't ever forget them.  I love this age.  He's a ball of cuteness.  Every time he holds my hand I never want to let go because I know there will be a day when he won't want to hold mommy's hand anymore.

Week 14 - Everything I Want to Remember

How far along: 14 weeks exactly

Total weight gain/loss:  Current weight = 102lbs

Maternity clothes:  Wore a pair of maternity pants yesterday but mostly wearing my regualr clothes with my Bella Band - maternity clothes are still too big

Stretch marks: None

Sleep:  Interrupted and never enough of it

Movement:  Have felt a few little flutters but not sure if it's movement or just gas :)

Cravings:  No specific cravings but I love the smell of coffee

Aversions:  Changes day by day

Gender: Unknown at this time and I have no particular feeling one way or the other

Symptoms: Tired, tired, tired

What I miss: My energy!

What I look forward to:  Next ultrasound on June 3 when I get to find out of this babe is a boy or girl

Moods:  Too tired for moods

Milestones: Every new week is a milestone

Medical Concerns:  A low placenta, a cyst on one ovary, a subchorionic bleed/hematoma and a nodule on my thyroid (biopsy pending)

Weekly Wisdom:  Try to enjoy every moment of pregnancy

Worst moment this week: None.  The glass is half full!

Best moment this week:  Every moment with Cub Scout where I get to give him my full, undivided attention

In Happier News

Just to balance today's previous bad karma post I thought I'd post something happier.

We saw little Baby Scout at my 12 week ultrasound a couple of weeks ago.  Cute as a button that little Baby Scout is.  S/he gave us a perfect profile view and we saw a strong beating heart.

Cub Scout continues to fascinate me every day with how fast he learns and grows.  He's now putting together three-word sentences.  His favourites so far are "bless you Daddy" when Mr. Scout sneezes and "I did it!" when he accomplishes something all on his own like stacking blocks.

Cub Scout loves crackers and is always asking for "mow cwacka" - that's his toddler speak for "more crackers."  Some other favourite words of mine that he says are "dubba dubba dubba" for the letter "W", "owside" for outside, "help please" when he needs assistance getting a toy out of the box or putting on a jacket, "yogo" for yogurt, "macanoni" for macaroni.  I never want to forget his toddler-speak, it's so darn cute.

He's a challenge to say the least.  He's at that toddler stage where he's testing limits and asserting his independence.  Some days (many days!) it seems there is more crying/tantrums in our house than not.  But then when you ask him for a hug and he runs and dives into your arms you forget every tantrum in an instant.  The power of love :)

I can't believe Cub Scout is approaching two years old.  It seems like just yesterday he was barrelling out of me ready to take on the world.  He's got personality this child of mine.  He loves to read.  Loves trains. Loves the riding cars outside.  Has a smile that lights up his face and a serious frown just to balance things out - which he gets from Daddy :)  He's got a wild head of hair that takes a lot of product to control, but it's just too adorable to cut.  He's happy and engaging and vocal and full of energy and moody and cuddly and a million other things all rolled into one.  He is the BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME.

How Things Change

Last post I was writing about how I had nothing really to worry about....

Now, that's changed.

It seems I have a "low" placenta.  Which I'm told is not uncommon.  I'm also told that in the majority of cases the placenta moves up as the baby grows.  I was put on pelvic rest as a precaution. That means no exercise and no lifting.  I'm told not to worry about it, and mostly I haven't.

It also seems I have a cyst on my left ovary.  Again I'm told it is not uncommon.  I'm also told that it can go away on it's own.  It hasn't caused me any pain, which is good.   However if I do start to experience a stabbing pain that doesn't go away then I am to call the midwife.  I've also been told not to worry about this, and mostly I haven't.

And, it seems I have a subchorionic bleed/hematoma.  Once again, I'm told it is not uncommon.  And I'm told that it can be re-abosrbed by my body and disappear.  I haven't had any spotting or bleeding this pregnancy, which is good.  If spotting/bleeding develops then I need to call my midwife.  Don't worry about this I'm told, but I confess I have, a little.

And if those three 'minor' conditions weren't enough for an infertile to deal with I've got another bigger health concern that is causing me worry, as hard as I try not to worry.  A nodule was disovered on the right side of my thyroid.  I've learned through my own research that nodules are not uncommon.  I've also learned that most nodules are benign.  However, my nodule has microcalcification.  Microcalcification, according to my internet research, is more commonly associated with malignant tissue.  Malignant, aka, Cancer.  Add to that a strong family history of thyroid diseases and my risk factor shoots way up. 

A biopsy has been scheduled.  It cannot come soon enough.  I need to know, one way or the other, what I'm dealing with.  And how would one deal with a Cancer diagnosis during pregnancy??  As if a Cancer diagnosis on its own wouldn't be bad enough, but throw in a pregnancy and already being a mother to a toddler and it becomes unbearable to even think about.

Really universe??  It wasn't enough that I struggled to get pregnant, you had to throw this shit at me too??  Thanks.  Thanks a lot.